OK, Computer.

I appreciate the reassurance, Computer:

but it’s not good enough anymore. There are too many things that exist that shouldn’t. For example:

1) this program Hidden, which allows you to spy on anybody who’s stolen your computer. How does it work? Well, they say:

When you activate tracking, Hidden will locate your stolen computer anywhere on the planet, collect photos of the thief and screen shots of the computer in use. (We also collect lots of nerdy network information, but we won’t bore you with the details!)

WAIT! Give me those boring nerdy details! Like: WHO ELSE CAN SPY ON ME? (In Soviet Russia, Hidden spies YOU !!)

Don’t tell me it’s for my own good, Computer. I’m on to you.

2) The Museum of Me, featuring the Facebook Collection: this just makes me sick.